Redonkulous*

An interesting catalog showed up here the other day, and there were some truly insane things contained within.

First up, Disposable Bibs For Adults:

 

 Nothing says "Grandma, you're a slob" quite like a giant paper sheet covering her neck-to-waist. Why not just give her sponge and a bucket...

Next we have these beauties, Avivo Shower Sandal Footscrubber

 

"As seen on TV!"  This little gem stick to your tub with suction cups and has "1,000 gently stimulating bristles to massage and clean your feet all over from heel to toe"  Kinda like walking barefoot on the sidewalk.  At least that's free.

How about a handheld ECG? 

 

"Honey?  Does this look like paroxysmal supraventricular tachycardia to you?"

I think Tammy Faye Bakker went through a case of these mascara shields every day.

  

Yeah, this looks like a good idea...  a cordless ear wax cleaner

 

Because sticking a vacuum in your ear is a fantastic idea.

I... what... I have nothing to say about these cosmetic teeth
 

But combine these with this neck traction thingy

And you'll be a lean, mean sex machine in no time.

Have fun shopping!

*redonkulous: re.donk'u.lous adj. Significantly more absurd than ridiculous to an almost impossible extreme; without possibility of serious consideration.